I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
