He disabled his match.com account in front of me
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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