If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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