Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
my liver is dry heaving
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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