the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
