Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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