There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
