you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
