It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
