On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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