You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Randomize
