Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
