i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
