All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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