p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
