I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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