do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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