after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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