Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
