put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
