Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
