You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
