im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
