She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
