Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
