is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
