he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
