This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
