hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Someone shattered a urinal.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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