if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
