The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
