Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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