he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
