He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
