Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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