GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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