he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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