All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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