So drunk, too bad you don't want this
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
