So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
This is my gift to your gina
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
