Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
