How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
she peed on how many people?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
