i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
