ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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