We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
So much rum. So many feels.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
