Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
