Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
