We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
