I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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