if only i could text you this smell
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
