Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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