Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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